Eliza Jacquelin Ambler to Ann Ambler Fisher(1807–1809)

Transcript

Eliza J.A.B. Carrington to Ann Ambler Fisher

Dear Nancy

In my first letter I dwelt intirely upon the virtues of our estimable Mother, now would I bring the best of Fathers [1] to your recollection. His Saint-like image is too deeply impressed to need any picture of mine to recall him to your remembrance. I find a complete portrit of him drawn by the inimitable Cowper at the conclusion of his Winter Walk at Noon [2], beginning “He is the happy man whose life even now whews somewhat of a happier life to come” —every line throughout, pourtrays the character of our much loved Father so completely that I could wish if it were possible that all his descendants like myself would commit it to memory, —, *also that the character given him at his death by Mr. R. and B. n [3] which you have in the Sermon May be preserved also a letter to Miss Caines; your children at some future time will dwell with delight on having such ancestors—and my repeat with Cowper

we boast not, that we deduce our birth
From loins enthroned or Rulers of earth.
But higher far, our high pretensions rise,
Children of Parents passed into the Skies

A distinguished piety as I have learned from our venerable Aunt [4] marked the character of our Father from earliest Youth, No doubt this had great weight in the selection he made of our Mother; never in this particular were minds more congenial, and for upwards of thirty years they lived in the constant reciprocation of connubial affection; this was a source of great comfort to themselves and of never deasing advantage to their children, who under every circu[m]stance have felt the advantage of their example. Our poor Mother being too infirm to engage much in the care of her children it alsmost entirely devolved on My Father; and when my sister M ll [5] and myself were barely 5 & 6 years old he went through the arduous task of teaching us, and in every particular supplying the place of a Mother, notwithstanding he held an office* that afforded little leisure for such employment; the moment he left his chamber in the morning which was at an early hour, we were called; and through out the day every hour from business was devoted to us.—Our copies as soon as we could write—were written in the fairest hand by him self—short, but always containing a lesson of piety; or an elegant moral quotation. the Orthography, and grammar entirely defective which we were to correct, no English Grammar at that time was to be found.— Parents and teachers in later times owe much to Lindlay Murray [6] in that branch of education but in my own opinion the good old fashioned teaching to spell, has greatly the advantage over the Modern. Our arithmetic commenced most pleasantly the first figures I well remember were encircled with flowers which had a happy effect in drawing our attention; amusing books were carelessly left open on the writing table;-letters from the children of his friends in Philadelphia were given us to answer and our education went on without rules or forms, had it been our lot to come into life a little later, much trouble might have been spared by the after publications of a Barbauld [7]; an Edgworth [8] &&& -The preceptor [9], a large Volume differing from any other of the kind I have ever seen, was imported by my father and was really a valuable work, comprizing lessons of various sorts, interspersed with pleasant stories, and some well selected poetry—thus did our dear Father devote himself to us, and pursue every means in his power to give us instruction at a time when girls in our country were simply taught to read and write at 25/-and a Load of Wood pr Year,— a boarding school was no where in Virginia to be found; —Such attentions as we experienced were without a parallel-, it was thought however to have too much of severity; for the Rod at that time was an implement never to be dispensed with, and our dear Father used it most conscientiously; by many he was considered a most rigid disciplinarian but I have since discovered that his superior knowledge of human nature led him to pursue the right course, and in my own subsequent experience in the education of children, I have found that the present prevailing opinion that Youth may be reared and matured by indulgence is altogether erroneous; there are dispositions and amongst those that I have had the direction of, I have had one perhaps, that such a course may be pursued without injury; but I will venture to say with a very few exceptions it will be always proper to observe a well regulated discipline.

Nothing is so well calculated to inspire Youthful minds with respect and confidence towards their Parents and teachers; restraint is certainly never pleasant, and to children is insupportable, but it is prod[uc]tive of every good, in every situation and gives a zest to after enjoyments of life that, nothing else can supply; that it forms the mind to bear its ills has never been denied, —the advantages I have experienced through life from my Fathers supposed inflexibility are incalculable, first a remarkable thoughtless and giddy childishness rendered a constant discipline on his part necessary; which produced that restraint the good effects of which, are felt to this day, and no doubt in every situation, and particularly in one that most important of my life prevented the most fatal consequences.

We often hear the observation and sometimes from persons that we are inclined generally to think well of, that a rigid Parent never has an obedient child; my own experience certainly disproves it, when the Parents is found to Unite the character of the Virtuous Christian with the conscientious disciplinarian, he will never cease to be loved and respected; there is no sacrifice of inclination or self-will that a child will not be induced to make to such a parent; and who can describe the heart felt delight we experience when the time of restraint is passed, and the parent becomes the Friend instead of the Master; when we are capable of reflecting that every restraint was imposed for our good; that the infliction cost him more pain than we felt; and that upon every occasion his first and greatest concern, was the good of his child. Such a Father was ours, and the love and respect he inspired us with has seldom been equaled. Never shall I forget the impression made on me when he first relaxed in what was termed his rigid conduct. certainly I should never have tasted half its pleasure, had he been always in the habit of indulging. as a great mark of favor I was permitted at the age of fourteen to accept an invitation of our Aunt A in Hanover; [10] —before I finished my journey I received a letter from him telling me he now considered I had arrived at an age when I might in some degree be left to myself—“Remember my child (these were his words) ”this is the first time you have left the wing of tender parents; it behoves you to be watchful over your conduct; to be affable and corteous to all around you, such depends upon your first entrance in the world;-but above all never neglect your daily duty to your Great Benefactor, he demands your warmest gratitude" —this was the first time he ever calld my attention to religious duties, no doubt he felt perfectly satisfied with what our Mother did for us in this particular but his own constnt example was of itself a sufficient and of far greater weight than precept.—Never did Man live in more constant practices of religious duties, early and late we knew him in the performance of them; it was his daily habit to spend his first and latest hours in prayer and meditation. every sunday that his [churc]h was open he was the first to enter it, and often would be almost a solitary* male at the Table of his God. It is not remembered whether he considered days of fasting as necessary-but his frequent abstinence led us to believe that he felt the necessity of it, and perhaps his constitution also induced him often to practise it—Nevertheless he was never religiously gloomy, his temper was not gay but his seriousness was generally the effect of a continued devotion to business and a remarkably reflecting mind however there were seasons when he enjoyed Society and would often use exertions to amuse his young friends, —the company of children when quiet and playful was delightful to him, and I have often known him seek it to avoid those of larger growth, —with them, he used to say he always found innocence;-Benevolence in its utmost extent marked the character of our much loved Father through every period of his life and the pecuniary sacrifices it often cost him are beyond calculation his secret charities have often been repeated in my ear from grateful lips that dared not from delicacy for his feelings repeat them abroad.

[Eliza]

*See letter written by myself to Miss Caines soon after his death.

*Collector of the KIngs Customs at York in Virginia

*At the time alluded to our Country was thrown into great confusion by the long continuance of the War and afterwards seemed to imbibe too much of that infidelity that so much prevailed,—When Paine and Godwin deseminated their writings abroad. and a more insinuating distinguishe personage, -gave his lessons at home. The Churches in Virginia were almost entirely shut up and [ ] ordinances unobserved—Most of our Men engaged in the War—

Notes

1. “Father”: Jacquelin Ambler (1742–1798) was the son of Richard Ambler and his wife Elizabeth Jacquelin of Yorktown. Before the Revolutionary War, Jacquelin Ambler was the King’s Custom Officer in York, and then Councilor of State to Governor Thomas Jefferson and later the State Treasurer, an office he held until his death. He and his wife, Rebecca Burwell, had four daughters that lived to adulthood.
2. Winter Walk at Noon by William Cowper (1731–1800)
3. “Mr. B. n.”: John Buchanan, a Scottish clergyman who preached Jacquelin Ambler’s funeral sermon in 1798. Excerpts of the sermon can be found in Louise Pequet du Bellet’s Some Prominent Virginia Families (SPVF) Vol 2, pp. 20–22.
4. Louise Pequet du Bellet indicates that this is Jacquelin Ambler’s aunt, Martha Jacquelin (SPVF, Vol 1, p. 31).
5. Mary “Polly” Willis Ambler Marshall (1766–1831) married John Marshall (1755–1835), Supreme Court Justice.
6. Murray, Lindley (1745–1826). Murray wrote textbooks, the most popular being the English Grammar (1795) and the English Reader (1799) which dominated the American market until the McGuffey Readers began to appear in 1836.
7. Barbauld, Anna Laetitia Aikin (1743–1825). Barbauld was a poet, essayist and children’s writer. Mrs. Carrington may have been referring to her Lessons for Children, a series of readers that teach both literacy and general knowledge that were first published in 1778–79.
8. Edgeworth, Maria (1768–1849). Edgeworth wrote books for children and adults. Her first children’s book, The Parent’s Assistant (1796), included stories like “The Little Dog Trusty” and “Lazy Lawrence.”
9. The Preceptor could have been the two volume set entitled The Preceptor Containing a General Couse of Education. Wherein The First Principles of Polite Learning Are laid down in a Way most suitable for trying the Genius and advancing the Instruction of Youth which was published in London in 1748. A fourth edition was published in 1763. The Preceptor was advertised for sale at the Williamsburg Post Office in the Virginia Gazette on November 29, 1770.
10. “Aunt A in Hanover”: Elizabeth’s 1779 visit could have been to the widow of her uncle Edward Ambler, Mary Cary Ambler, who moved from Jamestown to “The Cottage” in Hanover County for safety during the Revolution.

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